


life was a willow (and it bent right to your wind)

by sanashine



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: Austin is mentioned, Drabble, F/F, Gen, Sue just wants to have some peace of mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29404449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanashine/pseuds/sanashine
Summary: When Sue gets the possibility to go to Boston for a bit of time, she doesn’t think about it twice.She needs a break from Austin and, maybe, from Emily too.
Relationships: Emily Dickinson & Susan Gilbert Dickinson, Emily Dickinson/Susan Gilbert Dickinson
Kudos: 15





	life was a willow (and it bent right to your wind)

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve spent the last week binge-watching the whole show and I hopelessly fell for Sue. So, here we go! Enjoy!

Boston.

To Sue, it seems like the only way to escape.

But from what exactly? She’s not sure.

Does she need a break from Austin? Austin... He talks about the wedding all the time. A wedding Sue isn’t even sure to have. She is aware that, someway, it’s the best she can aim for. But is it right to do so? To marry a person you don’t love? Deep down Sue knows the truth, but she’s not ready to deal with it. Not yet.

Because...

Because it would mean losing the only opportunity she has to spend the rest of her life near enough to Emily.

Emily.

Her beloved Emily.

Does she need a break from her too?

Emily, whose love is involuntarily suffocating her.

Emily, whose poems, full of her undying love, make her feel so overwhelmed she can’t even describe it.

Emily.

Emily, who doesn’t leave Sue’s mind even for a second.

Emily.

Emily, who is everything for her. 

How could she escape from _her_ Emily?

The adjective had crossed her mind more time that she would like to admit.

Sue never dares to ask herself why, though.

* * *

Sue’s days in Boston are all identical. 

With each passing day, she realizes that the calm she was desperately searching for in Amherst isn’t doing her any well.

She misses Austin’s stupid questions about the wedding or whatever things randomly crossed his mind.

Sue misses Emily. She wishes she could find something specific, but she can’t. Or better, there are so many things Sue craves about Emily to make it difficult to select only some of them.

When it comes to Emily, it’s all or nothing.

Sue knows it too well.

But what makes her miss them even more, it’s their letters. An unstoppable flow of letters; a lot are from Austin, but even more come from Emily. 

It always amazes Sue how much she can write. 

But there is something more than that: Emily’s choice of words is one of Sue favorite things.

However, she can’t bring herself to answer.

She does. Just one time.

But not to Emily.

* * *

_ I’m dying. _

Three words.

Three words that make Sue jump on the first train to go back to Amherst.

The trip seems longer than the first time, almost endless.

_ Have Amherst always been that far from Boston? _ , Sue asks herself.

She tries again and again not to imagine the worst scenarios. What if she arrives there and Emily has already... She can’t even think about it.

But when she gets to the Dickinsons, both hands busy with her suitcases, Emily is sitting there, near the porch.

And Sue’s heart... Sue’s heart almost escapes from her chest.

« Emily! » Sue screams, letting the suitcases fall and running to reach her. 

« Sue? You are back! » Emily reacts immediately.

« I... I thought you were dying? » She asks, confused.

« Oh, yes! I totally thought I was without you here with me. »

« But your letter, you... »

« I’m alive, Sue! » Emily says with a bright smile.

And Sue can only let the subject go.

She lets a laugh escape her mouth. Because only with Emily something like that could happen.

« You should marry Austin. »

Sue looks at Emily, who deadly serious pronounced those words, trying to elaborate something. But not even a simple _why_ gets out.

« Sue? »

It’s Austin’s voice.

And Sue terribly hates the timing.

While she turns around to meet her soon-to-be-husband’s face, there is only one thought in Sue’s mind.

_ Do it for Emily. _

**Author's Note:**

> If you got here, I hope you liked it! And, mostly, thank you for reading it. 
> 
> I’ve been thinking about the way Sue felt when she decided to leave for Boston a lot, and this brief piece of writing naturally came to me.
> 
> If you want to let me know what you think about it you can find me on twitter (@myouizaki) or on curiouscat (https://curiouscat.me/ahnsolji)!


End file.
